So lately its fair to say there've been twinges of self pity.
Things not flowing the way they ought to be ...
Just when Id curled into a bundle of sorrow...I met a soul whos spirit made me ashamed to wallow.
It was Dassera the day stretched ahead an empty space... Id taken myself off to the local parlour for some (cheap but much needed pampering). The regular manicurist was on holiday. Instead there was a cheery girl from the north east .
She spoke perfect english and perhaps encouraged by my frequent thank yous and pleases decided she felt comfy enough to chat with me.
She suddenly looked up at me and asked me if i liked to dance. I was surprised by the question bcoz the girl has got to be at least 20 years younger than me....
The fact that shed picked up on my energy astounded me. Because I do so love to dance and darn it all its been ages...:)
Then we had this chat about how both of us tended to clean our houses whilst dancing away with our broomsticks... :):).
The girls doing her internshiop at the salon and lives in a hostel at the other end of town. She hasnt been home in 2 years and is matter afact about the sacrifices shes made for her career.
She didnt know it but she reminded me of many things that day :
a) Life doesnt treat all of us equal. But that doesnt mean you stop smiling.
b) You can still dance you can still smile you can still make it happen :)!
Thanks lady... I salute ur spirit. I know there are many like you and i hope you see your dreams come true.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Turnin me the right way round :)
They say reason , season , lifetime.
I say whatever be the frame... Loving you cut the bonds that kept my soul in chains.
For the longest time I was blind, caught up in a mire. A world of gray which blocked and drained... completely drained of fire.
It took your depth, your wisdom and care; for me to see that Love does indeed remain . A Love Id long proclaimed insane.
Deep beneath the surface it lurked under reams of tears ,mistrust and fear.
When the path dwindled who can say?
All i know is I felt destined to fail.
When I first met you I thought the same. Heaped negativity preempting blame and pain.
Youve set an example Id like to uphold. A beacon of light very brave and bold.
Ive seen u give love without question or shame. Seen patience and kindess , firmness remains.
You cut through my defences , brought me in from the rain.
Its not just me ive seen you reach out to bail.
Its not like you havent seen your share of pain.
We may see tomorrow who can say..
Know this though, Im grateful to have met you come what may.
I say whatever be the frame... Loving you cut the bonds that kept my soul in chains.
For the longest time I was blind, caught up in a mire. A world of gray which blocked and drained... completely drained of fire.
It took your depth, your wisdom and care; for me to see that Love does indeed remain . A Love Id long proclaimed insane.
Deep beneath the surface it lurked under reams of tears ,mistrust and fear.
When the path dwindled who can say?
All i know is I felt destined to fail.
When I first met you I thought the same. Heaped negativity preempting blame and pain.
Youve set an example Id like to uphold. A beacon of light very brave and bold.
Ive seen u give love without question or shame. Seen patience and kindess , firmness remains.
You cut through my defences , brought me in from the rain.
Its not just me ive seen you reach out to bail.
Its not like you havent seen your share of pain.
We may see tomorrow who can say..
Know this though, Im grateful to have met you come what may.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
2 many pieces...
2 many walls
2 many feelings
2 much of your past
2 allow believing.
For ages I tried...
Hope washing away pride
Till reality bit and I awakened
To a truth I had almost forsaken.
In the battle for you I almost lost me.
And this I can never allow 2 be.
Your issues ... your own...
Your past a hollow
Choose if you will to wallow.
Im walking into a better tomorrow :)!
Me I seek brightness and light
Rainbows remain...
Not saying I wont be there to turn
corners in darkness...
Or hold ur hand through the rain
Its just ..
Theres a time for pleasure
A time for pain.
A time to look forward & let the past remain.
:)
K
2 many feelings
2 much of your past
2 allow believing.
For ages I tried...
Hope washing away pride
Till reality bit and I awakened
To a truth I had almost forsaken.
In the battle for you I almost lost me.
And this I can never allow 2 be.
Your issues ... your own...
Your past a hollow
Choose if you will to wallow.
Im walking into a better tomorrow :)!
Me I seek brightness and light
Rainbows remain...
Not saying I wont be there to turn
corners in darkness...
Or hold ur hand through the rain
Its just ..
Theres a time for pleasure
A time for pain.
A time to look forward & let the past remain.
:)
K
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Not of this earth...
So what of fame, glamour & glory.
There is no different end to this story.
So what of style & grace...
Still she flew to a different place.
2 trusting some say,2 impeteous 2 dreamy 2 spaced...
Did she see it coming... or choose to dance in its face?
What led her to take the steps she did..
Caterpulting her out of the race.
R.I.P. Viveka. Never knew you... but can strangely empathise a great deal.
When you dont know where to turn and who to trust, sometimes the only thing you can do is go home.
There is no different end to this story.
So what of style & grace...
Still she flew to a different place.
2 trusting some say,2 impeteous 2 dreamy 2 spaced...
Did she see it coming... or choose to dance in its face?
What led her to take the steps she did..
Caterpulting her out of the race.
R.I.P. Viveka. Never knew you... but can strangely empathise a great deal.
When you dont know where to turn and who to trust, sometimes the only thing you can do is go home.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Carrie & the gang 4 ever...living up 2 da hype..
Critics have slammed em...reviews screech "Dried up old prunes!"....... (I wonder about the age/sex demographic of the reviewer)
Yet the theatre was jam packed on opening nite; masses of Indian women dressed to the 9s...Id like to point out over here that I doubt the pulled together chic look, worked by most of the attendees would have been possible without SJP and her posse!
Could be wrong but I have never witnessed such a gathering in India before; effortlessly styled women (that too in western wear, this isnt just about brands and money its about pulling a look together and working it to the T... kudos ladies).
In the past i couldnt help feeling that most women in this city just couldnt carry certain looks... its a bit like Samantha and the gang (with the exception of Carrie who could probably wear a brown paper bag with elan! ) trying to work middle eastern chic... garish, embarassing and lacking pizazz!
2 come sharply back to the point... SATC is primarily about attitude! Its about a bunch of soulmates who simply refuse to conform...
So why do we love em so ? The movie did drag in places..I found it culturally insensitive and far to "in your face" at times (particularly when Samantha loses it in the souk). Theres not much of a plot... its more or less an update on their lives..
Guess the film works despite this simply bcoz each of us identify with these women...
we admire the fact that they are independant, sucessful, make few compromises or apologies for living life on their own terms.. and make no mistake they do fall , but every time one does the rest of the gang is there to pick up the pieces....
Lord knows my gal pals have been doing this for years! Guess we like the fact that no man or situation has been able to drag any of these ladies away from who they really are :)!
My mind cant help flicking to another really good film I saw recently "Raajneeti"
One particular scene stuck in my mind... the one where Katrinas mother in law trys to comfort her and says " beti we (us women) verare always the one's who have to understand..!"
Do we? Or do we pretend to? is there a bit of us that while publicly shunning SATCs overt displays of feminism secretly admire and yearn for that level of independance?
It quite clear that whilst all those women are capable of sustaining sucessful relationships... NONE of them needs a man to define who she is .
Cant help believin Ill be watchin Samantha turn 99 :)!
Yet the theatre was jam packed on opening nite; masses of Indian women dressed to the 9s...Id like to point out over here that I doubt the pulled together chic look, worked by most of the attendees would have been possible without SJP and her posse!
Could be wrong but I have never witnessed such a gathering in India before; effortlessly styled women (that too in western wear, this isnt just about brands and money its about pulling a look together and working it to the T... kudos ladies).
In the past i couldnt help feeling that most women in this city just couldnt carry certain looks... its a bit like Samantha and the gang (with the exception of Carrie who could probably wear a brown paper bag with elan! ) trying to work middle eastern chic... garish, embarassing and lacking pizazz!
2 come sharply back to the point... SATC is primarily about attitude! Its about a bunch of soulmates who simply refuse to conform...
So why do we love em so ? The movie did drag in places..I found it culturally insensitive and far to "in your face" at times (particularly when Samantha loses it in the souk). Theres not much of a plot... its more or less an update on their lives..
Guess the film works despite this simply bcoz each of us identify with these women...
we admire the fact that they are independant, sucessful, make few compromises or apologies for living life on their own terms.. and make no mistake they do fall , but every time one does the rest of the gang is there to pick up the pieces....
Lord knows my gal pals have been doing this for years! Guess we like the fact that no man or situation has been able to drag any of these ladies away from who they really are :)!
My mind cant help flicking to another really good film I saw recently "Raajneeti"
One particular scene stuck in my mind... the one where Katrinas mother in law trys to comfort her and says " beti we (us women) verare always the one's who have to understand..!"
Do we? Or do we pretend to? is there a bit of us that while publicly shunning SATCs overt displays of feminism secretly admire and yearn for that level of independance?
It quite clear that whilst all those women are capable of sustaining sucessful relationships... NONE of them needs a man to define who she is .
Cant help believin Ill be watchin Samantha turn 99 :)!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
The chronicles of Seema...
Seema came into my life... when I'd lost all hope... i was covered in dirt (literally)...
Ok ok Id just moved into my new apartment... and she rang the bell just when the movers had done their thing...
Looked me up and down and volunteered her services (she said she used to clean for the previous occupants & would try m e out for size.. no commitments mind)...
Being as I had not had the luxury of a maid for a good 2 years (thanks to my paranoid parent)I managed not to fall on my knees and grovel. But took what was offered in as cool & calm a manner as manageble...
Its been 4 months... and Seema has taught me a lot.........
She hails from Kolkatta and moved to Mumbai when she married.. her husband drives a riksha and drinks...
Seema has a 3 year old girl who shes had to leave behind in Kolkatta.
Seema can read.
She comes to work rain or storm... if I'm not in or asleep she keeps coming back till I open the door and she can clean
Her mom is dieing....
Seema can only think positively She only thinks good.
Her glass is always half full.
Recently Seema asked me when I would marry, when I retorted that I had yet to find a suitable match... she laughed and said lightly "didi God made you.. so he mustve made a man for you..."
People come into your life for a reason a season or a lifetime..
Shes clearly in mine to teach me stuff.......good job Im a fast learner...:)
May you all find your Seema's...
XX
Ok ok Id just moved into my new apartment... and she rang the bell just when the movers had done their thing...
Looked me up and down and volunteered her services (she said she used to clean for the previous occupants & would try m e out for size.. no commitments mind)...
Being as I had not had the luxury of a maid for a good 2 years (thanks to my paranoid parent)I managed not to fall on my knees and grovel. But took what was offered in as cool & calm a manner as manageble...
Its been 4 months... and Seema has taught me a lot.........
She hails from Kolkatta and moved to Mumbai when she married.. her husband drives a riksha and drinks...
Seema has a 3 year old girl who shes had to leave behind in Kolkatta.
Seema can read.
She comes to work rain or storm... if I'm not in or asleep she keeps coming back till I open the door and she can clean
Her mom is dieing....
Seema can only think positively She only thinks good.
Her glass is always half full.
Recently Seema asked me when I would marry, when I retorted that I had yet to find a suitable match... she laughed and said lightly "didi God made you.. so he mustve made a man for you..."
People come into your life for a reason a season or a lifetime..
Shes clearly in mine to teach me stuff.......good job Im a fast learner...:)
May you all find your Seema's...
XX
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Dont it make my brown eyes blue....
My eyes reflect my guiless soul (or so im told at least one million times in a day).... all very flattering... for about 5 mins...
People look in my eyes and think aha.. shes soooooooo innocent.. unbelieveable ..lets just see what we can get away with...shes so dumb.. shell buy anything we sell her... at work its like " ok what sob story can we run today"
Dad wont take me shopping with him insisting the price goes up when i go along...most of my friends tell me Im easy to con.. read my previous blogs on my escapades with men and youll be forgiven for agreeing...
Cmon gimme a break? What is with us Indians and our oversmartassedness(ok i know thats not a word but u get my drift right?)
For the record:
a) I have a mother who gave me her eyes.. and trust me she can pull the wool over anyones at whim when she chooses too.So people get the hint...Im giving you the benefit of the doubt bcoz I chooose to.
b)The reason I hold the job I do is simple its called integrity....(enough said).
I've noticed lately that its almost a battle out there.... at work its a battle to prove who can work the least, crack the whip the most... and get away with it in the smartest fashion...
Us Indians are SO proud of the fact that we work ridiculous hours and through weekends...etc etc... er how much work is actually happening? Nope surfing the net , innumerable ciggie breaks and phone chats DONT COUNT.
Just how productive are we being really? How good a boss am I if I dont care about my teams overall development including Rest and Relaxation? And why should they give me or the organisation 100% if I dont show that much care or concern for their wellbeing?
Juniors are constantly critical of their bosses and are certain of the fact that they are smarter , better etc .. most management trainees today beleive they should be fasttracked in 6 months to CEO position...
Er.. guess who gave them that idea? We did...I dont think there is an organisation out there in this country at least which hasnt paid the price for over fastracking and thereby ensuring business heads with zero maturity...guess who pays the price?
Ive often wondered is it bcoz we were have nots who have suddenly been given a glimpse into the way the other half lives?
If someone is starving you can hardly blame them for snatching/stealing food..
Or is there more to this... something intrinsically woven into our DNA ? I've often heard that certain communities in India are lazy...some crazy and most of the others over smart...
Whether its the govt... taking our money in taxes & scams quite adamant they are smarter than us and will never get found out.. (and they always but always do...)
or its a political party .... conning people with religion....builders scamming with carpet area...super built up etc or its a man on the street selling fake anythings..
right down to the lil ole beggar lady who I've made friends with and who on a weekly basis insists her son is ill and she needs money for his medication...
Really do I look that dumb?
There are two points Im trying to make here:
1) Culturally is this inherent in our nature? If so why?
2) Despite being fully aware both personally and professionallly (hello I havent been asleep these last 36 years), I still choose to give people the benefit of the doubt.
Yup in my book your innocent until proven guilty.....BCOZ I CHOOSE TO BE THAT WAY.DEAL WITH IT.IM NOT DUMB IM NOT GULLIBLE... I simply try and treat people the way I wish to be treated.. and guess what else? For me there always will be a rainbow... I will always believe in a better tomorrow and plan to work towards it.Yes I believe in Miracles coz Ive seen them happen.......
People look in my eyes and think aha.. shes soooooooo innocent.. unbelieveable ..lets just see what we can get away with...shes so dumb.. shell buy anything we sell her... at work its like " ok what sob story can we run today"
Dad wont take me shopping with him insisting the price goes up when i go along...most of my friends tell me Im easy to con.. read my previous blogs on my escapades with men and youll be forgiven for agreeing...
Cmon gimme a break? What is with us Indians and our oversmartassedness(ok i know thats not a word but u get my drift right?)
For the record:
a) I have a mother who gave me her eyes.. and trust me she can pull the wool over anyones at whim when she chooses too.So people get the hint...Im giving you the benefit of the doubt bcoz I chooose to.
b)The reason I hold the job I do is simple its called integrity....(enough said).
I've noticed lately that its almost a battle out there.... at work its a battle to prove who can work the least, crack the whip the most... and get away with it in the smartest fashion...
Us Indians are SO proud of the fact that we work ridiculous hours and through weekends...etc etc... er how much work is actually happening? Nope surfing the net , innumerable ciggie breaks and phone chats DONT COUNT.
Just how productive are we being really? How good a boss am I if I dont care about my teams overall development including Rest and Relaxation? And why should they give me or the organisation 100% if I dont show that much care or concern for their wellbeing?
Juniors are constantly critical of their bosses and are certain of the fact that they are smarter , better etc .. most management trainees today beleive they should be fasttracked in 6 months to CEO position...
Er.. guess who gave them that idea? We did...I dont think there is an organisation out there in this country at least which hasnt paid the price for over fastracking and thereby ensuring business heads with zero maturity...guess who pays the price?
Ive often wondered is it bcoz we were have nots who have suddenly been given a glimpse into the way the other half lives?
If someone is starving you can hardly blame them for snatching/stealing food..
Or is there more to this... something intrinsically woven into our DNA ? I've often heard that certain communities in India are lazy...some crazy and most of the others over smart...
Whether its the govt... taking our money in taxes & scams quite adamant they are smarter than us and will never get found out.. (and they always but always do...)
or its a political party .... conning people with religion....builders scamming with carpet area...super built up etc or its a man on the street selling fake anythings..
right down to the lil ole beggar lady who I've made friends with and who on a weekly basis insists her son is ill and she needs money for his medication...
Really do I look that dumb?
There are two points Im trying to make here:
1) Culturally is this inherent in our nature? If so why?
2) Despite being fully aware both personally and professionallly (hello I havent been asleep these last 36 years), I still choose to give people the benefit of the doubt.
Yup in my book your innocent until proven guilty.....BCOZ I CHOOSE TO BE THAT WAY.DEAL WITH IT.IM NOT DUMB IM NOT GULLIBLE... I simply try and treat people the way I wish to be treated.. and guess what else? For me there always will be a rainbow... I will always believe in a better tomorrow and plan to work towards it.Yes I believe in Miracles coz Ive seen them happen.......
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