"Dont slide in2 marriage with that guy ur seeing who u quite like & have been dating 4 ages, but dont love.U'll b miserable. The man who makes ur knees weak ; ur palms sweat is out there. Don't settle 4 a room mate..." - Louise Mensch...
Who'd a thought it ? A few (near cliched) lines... could set off a maelstorm within? 2 Jump off the cliff ... or walk the (safer?) ... straight n narrow ? I've been dancin on the edge 4 a while now :)!
@ 40 I've attracted my fair share of snickers.. rolling eyes... and caustic comments about my perennial rose colored views... one er slightly more cynical soul actually went so far as 2 snipe " Even if u see a man on a donkey painted white, u'd choose 2 call him a knight on a white horse " God bless her & her views... she may be right I (actually am) quite crazy :D! having said that she's hardly the poster child 4 matrimonial bliss ~
Lord knows when even my free spirited tolerant mother loses patience with me...
I get the need 4 stability , security and growing old gracefully & I also get that Im darned lucky 2 have the choice... Lord knows I myself have played safe... picked the safe bet the same in the recent past in a bid 2 follow well meaning advise, some fear & insecurity... I have explored options which on the surface appeared safe & secure... attempted the most ridiculous (bravest) cultural leaps/ adaptations... 2 sum it up shall we say one made a valiant attempt 2 make the "right" choices basis common sense, practicality blah blah... friends (most) , family, well wishers heaved a sigh of relief & watched in utter bewilderment when that particular house of cards crumbled (Divine intervention part one? ) ... those who know me will know how THAT turned out (cackle)...
Mere months later I pretty much got whacked off my feet.... just when u think u've seen it all huh ... (Divine intervention 2?) and it all started 2 make sense... there's a lot 2 be said 4 the whole palm sweating, knee weakening piece above... one look literally was all it took :D! 2 whiten the slate... erase the hard drive & reboot anew...career disasters & personal ones notwithstanding ( Come now the poets, song writers and romance novellists cant all be blithering about nothing can they?) ... a definite , instantaneous soul connect... go figure...of course the road ahead isnt clear... its blocked ... (hurdles I havent figured worth leaping over yet... exist) I have over the last year... attempted 2 slow down... talk sense into myself... explore safer routes (again? )... Essentially the question is ... can loving someone ever be wrong?
Oft times Ive appealed 2 a higher power... wondered why fate placed this on my plate? Is it karmic? yet another life learning I am 2 emulate?
It matters not...how the future enfolds...Ive lived long enough 2 know that guarantees are hard 2 come by, happily after's a wistful tear in many a forlorn wife's eye...
For the longest time... I refused 2 admit even 2 me... a truth Im finally willing 2 set free...:)!
And Im happy 2 say... fearlessness won enuff of the day .. suffice 2 say take that leap of faith .. I just may :D!
www.watchthisspace.com cackle....
