Another victim of love...

Shes gone... we are a nation forlorn,

An innocent victim, a tragic disgrace,

Full on global disdain,
Really we could do without this sort of fame.

The whole country is now up in arms...

Enough is enough I hear ,  more and more cries 2 raise the alarm

Truth be known this is just a lesson waiting 2 unfold...

Mothers now hear my plea,

Respect must be learned @ ur knee.

Do not in typical Mother India mode; forget the long term consequences ur actions bode..

That little apple of your eye? pray do not give him the idea he can fly.
Gods gift 2 the planet he is not, & from an infant stage he MUST be taught

That women are equal , willing &; able to provide love , shelter &; food on the table.






 

2013

2 the year gone by...& the one ahead,

2 spirited endings & feelings afresh,

2 dreams of the spirit & sins of the flesh

The pieces that grew , the will that  stretched, the dreams that wilted .. far fetched.

My learning thus far 2 share with y'all..

A few stumbles do not maketh a fall..what matters is how swiftly u bounce off dat there wall;

Opportunity abounds a plenty, the trick is 2 see it & reach out adeptly.. 2 long have I witnessed lament, so much time spent with focus unspent...Do look back enuff 2 let go.. dont allow ur past , to turn ur future 2 foe.

Happy 2013 Darlin's - Here's hopin u connect with ur centre, tune in2 humanity ,escape from self imposed shelter... Reality is seen thru many a lens...make sure u get urs a regular cleanse!

Much love - Kimberley Parker

Of Free Spirits... Ragged Denim & Dance :!

Me " Mom I think I want to rip my jeans across... it looks soooo cool.." Mom (shocked look ) " NO! Kimberley you are 40 years old... you can't" Me ...  "er huh?"

Ok maybe I'm a rebel... maybe I'm in denial ... maybe Im freakin out at turnin 40 I  know not.. but this I know for sure... I have to be true to me... and if that means ripping my jeans so it must be...

It got me thunkin though... most of my friends from uni are married with kids... they have completely different lifestyles...and I know for sure that quite a few of them envy me... one of my friends said " Kim you are a free spirit..I have kids and responsibilities .. I have to do things I dont want to for their sake many a time..."  uh I didnt  have the heart to tell her I had two step kids  over a decade ago.. and managed them quite effectively thank you :D!  So then I was acting older than I was... surely turnabout's fair play? :D!

I have other friends who are single and completely unwilling to mingle... they'd rather wallow in loneliness than risk heartbreak...rather place everyone in a guilty box immediately  than give 'em a fair chance.. and uh ... I'm the foolish one for leaping in where angels fear to tread...?

People & their preconcieved notions.... Dad " Must you jump up and down (referring to my attempts at dance..:D!)  like your 16 ?" Me... "Heck yeah :D!"... So what do I do if I am high energy?  There are several who insist that I "grow up" .. with due apologies... why? What does grow up mean?

Remove the rose coloured glasses?  Blind myself to the beauty that is life?  Turn bitter and cynical about everything? I think not thank you ... I've had my share of challenges and betrayal.. shock and upheaval...

None of it changes who I am or what I believe in.
I see our time on earth as  transient... and really cannot take myself or life too seriously...

Ripped Jeans & Dance it is then !

Of Goddesses ,Hope & Emotional Blackmail

So I got a lot of impatience when I pestered folks to like my page... but a lot of people did it for me (it's the thing you do for pesky friends doncha know... all right all right I'll like your page... now go away and stop bugging me :D!)

Of course only a handful bothered to actually read through it and get the funda behind Goddessgiri...
When I asked for feedback I got a lot of impatient / guilty retorts to the tune of "Who has time..."

Amusing and interesting... brings me right back to my starting point... These same women have spent hours droning on and on about their issues, expecting time and solutions.. forget about from me, from God & the Universe! So whats the takeaway here exactly?
Are an individual's issues/ needs greater than anyone else's? I believe to recieve you've got to give. And maybe you dont need anything right now (though I have trouble believing that one.. :D!) but the wheel goes round doesnt it?

I suggested to a couple of my friends with businesses to promote their ventures for free on that page.. God knows they've asked for enough references/ recommendations over the years .. imagine my surprise when I saw the hesitation..  "we will wait for someone else to  and then we will..." :D!

Anyhow I recieived feedback from this lady yesterday thanking me for all the hope on the  page and on the blogs.. she said it gave her hope when she needed it most...small sign but big enough to signal a definite need.

Thats what I want for this and from this .. Collective hope, support & answers even.  It doesnt take anything more than your time and a genuine desire to help. And Im not suggesting for a second that this is the only means to go about doing this either. Im just trying to point out that we are all part of a collective whole and tend to forget that fact...the more awareness there the faster the answers appear...

I understand you may have very full lives, families, family dramas, money worries etc etc. News flash "We all do!"  at some point in life or the other at different degrees.
Thing is most of us tend to isolate ourselves believing we are the only ones facing challenging situations. The point of a venture like this is to share experiences, learn from others...& basically give a little. ..

Think about it :D! And after you've thought about it go to http://www.facebook.com/#!/Goddessgiri, like it , leave your thoughts , feedback and comments.

Goddessgiri... Live it.

Love,

Kimberley

Comin out of the dark... everything you dream of is on the other side of fear...

So... Ive been meaning to post my thoughts on fear for a while now... and just this morning my baby sister said to me... everything you want is on the other side of fear..
(:)! Thank you darling girl!)

So brings me back to what I wish I knew @ 22...(Seperate blog to be contd..)Every day I talk to folks I realise just how many of us live in constant fear. Most of it is completely unconcious even; but just stop and think... how many of your thoughts are fear based...and we all know what thoughts do to our actions & reactions :)!

Its taken me nearly 40 summers to become aware of how much my own fears have held me back...for a long time I was fearful,constantly defensive, thought it was the only way to be.Stems from childhood, your family and friends  maybe well intended but not necessarily best informed.

Luckily, instinctively Ive always known somewhere that fear wasnt the answer, I knew that defensive behaviour wasnt an adequate means to deal with life's boulders..It has taken years of constant (oft times unconcious) searching, several slaps from the universe to get to a small degree of awareness :)!

Though, trust me there are many in my friends / family circle who will raise eyebrows at this, because to them I'm fearless to the point of foolishness :)! News flash guys, its still a daily battle ...I've had to let go of relationships when I realised they were based on fear , Id love the chance to rebuild/ re-engineer on faith (but that again is another blog).

I have friends and family who are so stuck in their daily ruts, afraid to move , afraid to change , afraid to let love in, afraid to let it out even.Afraid of consequences, afraid of loss. Afraid to lose control. Afraid of failure , afraid of sucess even! Afraid to stay , afraid to go, afraid even to know :)! Oh and lets not forget what people will say !

To those of you who are super careful/wary about talking to strangers... I have this to say ,when you close yourself to the world you block the good along with the bad.

To those who want a cast iron gurantee on life , I'd like to tell you through experience.. there aint none :)!

To my colleagues at work who feel the need to politic for fear of keeping their jobs..You are fooling no one but yourselves :)!

Yep I get that all of us have bills to pay and we need to survive. But is it really necessary to go to these extremes? Would you do it another way if you could? If you were less worried perhaps?

Think about this what would you change about your life today if you werent worried about the consequences. How much of those consequences are real & how much of it is your fear mechanism kicking in to hold you back.

This stuff is deep and goes right back to your childhood , our folks (mostly with good intent) raised us ingraining fear for the most part. At work, till date many a Ceo will rule with an iron fist using fear as his main motivator. The point is many will push your fear buttons for their own gain... we are a country ruled by babas and astrologers no? Again the line between fear and faith :)!

Culturally we are still an inhibited lot , who'd rather sweep stuff under the carpet than discuss "shameful matters" in public. It is not ok to talk about your problems, or admit to fears, you are then a "weak" person.

Let me tell you, for me its been there done that many  many times :)! Every job, every relationship has been a leap of faith, lots of times Ive landed on my butt (and even gotten it kicked :) but hey the way I see it I now have a toned butt :)!)

I can tell you what's extentuating for me, faith in myself. And I can also tell you that when that has (especially in recent years) been running on empty... I got hit with several messages from the Universe/ Him above (whichever school of belief you may subscribe to). To quote a Course in Miracles... I have been reminded time and again through various channels (friends, books, the digital world, even life itself :))to EXPECT MIRACLES , to have faith. And I can also tell you this whenever I have had faith, I have forgotten all about fear and have manifested my dreams. My current assignment is learning to let go.. thats a tough one for any cancerian :)!

My dreams may be puny to some & lofty to others,I dont claim to have all the answers or be a mega sucess story at all, I just want to try and make folks aware of stuff I wish I knew at 22 :)! Alot of the time most of us dont even realise the role fear plays in our life , whats your feary tale? Id love to know. Have you dealt with it? Does it still haunt you? Do you need help with it? Post comments now please or message me...

Love
Kimberley

Lovin & Livin.... Later.

So I met yet another Mr. Could be right... most boxes ticked & we got talking...the sheer sweetness of silly late night phonecalls got me thinking ...back to times of yore... that same sweet feeling... the connect ,the promise/ possibility of fulfilment ... could your dreams be coming true?
& yet it was (harsh bump 2 reality accompanied by loud clanging noise for effect ) different.

Thats when it hit me...& got me thinking of all the ways relationships differ from our younger days.

We are older but are we really wiser? Does it make sense to cling on to past fears and baggage? Will the past necessarily repeat? Is everyone the same?

Hes thinking ok so I wont reveal too much of myself till Im sure of her... Im thinking how will I ever know you if you wont let me? How will love survive if you dont give it a fair chance? Is it right to project my past fears on to this person? Just because men in the past have behaved a certain way is it necessary he will too?

Ditto for me. When I look at it rationally I'm not very likely to behave/ react the way his ex girlfriends/ wife has. So how can I expect him to?

You know all those books on men being from mars & women from venus? Are we really all so typical? If it was so easy to manage / predict behaviour surely no one would ever split up?

So I had words with this guy when I discovered hed been economical with the truth re several important aspects of his life. His reasoning was its early days and he didnt want to reveal too much of himself till he was certain he could trust me.

I on the other hand as usual was as transparant as always. (It always leaves me feeling a little foolish when this happens)but frankly I like who I am too much to want to change ... am I a fool or are you/is he?

I did try and see it from his point of view but couldnt, because how on earth will we get to know each other if we keep stuff hidden about ourselves.
If like me you have been burned is the answer to shut yourself off from hurt?

Wont you also shut yourself off from love?
Because someone in your past hurt you is it right to lie today? Again I think not.

My phone is still ringing... Im still not picking it up :D! And hell thats a lot different from before .

Of flying eyebrows & Awareness

So it seems I cant roam around Mumbai without bumping into someone i know or used to know...(is this here city becoming 2 small 2 hold me ? thats a whole other blog methinks), Yesterday was in Bandra and bumped into a lady I went to school with and havent laid eyes on since 1988! The years have been kind to both of us fortunately as we both recognised the other immediately.

I wonder though what wouldve happened if i pretended NOT to be me? After the way our conversation went its definitely an option worth considering in the future...

So we greeted each other (I have to say my greeting was less effusive as I was never very fond of this lady at school and Im not great at faking my feelings, never have been its an art I have yet to perfect etc etc etc)

She asked me if I was married to which I said not anymore, her expression changed in a flash.. she said "oh... any issues"? It took me a second to figure she meant kids, in horrified tones I said no.. so she said "oh even so and so (another girl from our batch) is in the same boat but the poor thing has issues..."
She went on to invite me to meet up at a forthcoming reunion when I (as usual unable to hide my true feelings) failed to show suitable enthusiasm for the same she said " oh you are looking soooo lost... you should come you wont feel lost there, everyone will be really surprised to see you!" Id rather visit my dentist thanks!

She asked me what I did for a living.. how i felt moving back to India after so much time abroad.. dripping condecscension... I didnt have the heart to explain to her that I chose to move home.

Having had quite enough of all this I looked at her raised an eyebrow and asked "And er I understand that you have 2 kids and thats fabulous.. but what is it that you actually do for a living? " To which she got extremely flustered insisted that she couldnt possibly work as she had 2 whole kids and no support system.. and that she did her bit by volunteering.. I just let my eyebrows fly higher...so she swiftly literally physically reversed and said " my kids.. I must go and fetch them.. bye bye...:)!"

I insist I wouldve been nicer if she'd left the kids out of it..I dont get what makes people that insecure and unhappy that they feel they need to indulge in one upmanship in such a cruel fashion... if I have more than someone else I sure as hell wouldnt want to rub their nose in it... I may feel empathy and/or pity.. I may want to help even but thats about it ;for the life of me I cannot understand people like this. And this kinda thing usually doesnt even bother me much I find it hilarious and usually at the most would wonder what would trigger this sorta behaviour ..

This time I reacted more strongly because the other lady she mentioned has seen far less of the world than I have and consequentially I believe is less aware/ exposed to her options and her own potential ..and its women like this who will be hurt and made to think less of themselves needlessly.

It would be a different matter if the comments came from someone uneducated / unaware, this lwoman (sorry wont call her a lady) is none of those things. So come on girlfriends.. if you are reading this and know someone like this do all of us a favour.. maker her a little more aware?


K

Chances are...

Chances are you will recover...

Turn the page,

Find another lover.

Chances are you grew apart,

Lost your soul

Broke your heart.

Chances are it isnt as bad as first look
Turn a page,

Hell write a new book!


Chances are the ashes from your former fury
Prove the corner stone to your greatest glory.

The job you quit, that deal you lost...

The tongues that wagged...your pride a tattered albatross
The rabble rousers they know not better
Their perspective narrowed their world embittered.

Chances are the wheel will turn,

Setting you free to achieve and learn

Chances are you will prevail...

God & Love are in the details...:)!