So
After hearing several close friends wax eloquent about the site... I decided to inspect the same...albeit with a somewhat jaded (4 me ) approach..
Don't get me wrong , (as anyone who knows me will roll their eyes in agreement with ) I am open 2 explore different routes (despite all my escapades ,remain so) & non-judgemental, completely free of pre-conceived notions/ predjudices (2 the point of being accused of having perennial rose colored glasses on...)
Lets just say that in my experience the online medium has yet to achieve the level of evolvement it has in the west... over here sadly I have discovered (@my own and friends peril) that more often than not its scarcily more than a veiled attempt at fraud , deceit & fulfilling base agendas...
The matrimonial portals seem to have several still married men floating about, my male friends tell me that there was an equal number of women "soliciting" on there... some of the write ups read so hilariously that they are an eternal source of family amusement ( mine at least, we have spent several happy hours gleefully perusing "serious " proposals , clearly determining how homely, not stubborn and helpful the prospective bride should be)
Truth be known I was shocked at the level of hypocrisy and double standards that still prevailed in a so called " contemporary" society.. where several members were highly educated (mbas from top bschools here and abroad) treat the world as their playground, present themselves as global citizens & yet have such regressive thinking .... tsk... a random thought occurs... how about our media...? Our tv still insists on reflecting sari clad bahus as the archetype of the perfect woman... the rest of us simply dont exist...so what hope in hell do we have of progress? Then the whole country reacts in shock and horror 2 regular rape and dowry reports across the nation? Eyebrows are raised, protest marches happen... odes and paens, reams of media footage... of what avail... How can we expect the illiterate village bumpkin to change his perspective when the educated/ enlightened amongst us disrespect their wives and other women so flagrantly all under the guise of having a little "fun". We are all city folks right ?all high fliers? We " get" the rules of the game?
This to my mind is the crux of the matter... its a deeply regressive mentality we are sooo accustomed to its almost ingrained.
As a well meaning colleague once said.. women like you are in a minority... insinuation? You need to "fit in"...
So lets just say I explored Tinder with a fairly er un-enthused perspective... expectations (for a change )were @ ground zero...2 my (pleasant )surprise , the communication levels , attitude etc seemed far more transparant, there seemed to be quite a few like minded folks on there ...with the requisite humor, awareness , mindset etc..
Imagine my horror then when I came upon several of my friends husbands... hasty left swipe... I'm sure if confronted they will simply throw the "oh its a DATING site? we were just here to network" card... "I is here 2 make fraaandships only version er 1million". Can I just say I want to slap these men!
Again am the last one to judge... what goes on between a couple is their business but really this is flagrantly disrespectful to their wives & detrimental to society as a whole (no men cant be men anymore, if their tails are crooked.. chop em off) ... (and yep I'm 100% sure the wives don't know and wont be ok) that's what I object to... Somewhere these men believe they have society's approval to do as they please. They really don't care about the repercussions of a colleague or a family member witnessing their tacky behaviour.... These are the same men who will in seconds vilify a woman for being on there in the first place... she will be "asking for it" what else did she expect , desparate etc... Death 2 the double standard I say...(that's a whole other blog, heck maybe even a book ) .
Ladies ask your selves... is this what you want from your daughters? Gentlemen (@ least strive toward)? Non there's no magic wand... there ain't no quick fix... Nyet this cant be swept under the carpet and finally no moving abroad is not the solution , your mentality will go with you. Finally am not for a second suggesting that adultery and infidelity happens only in India... am only saying its tolerated & accepted far more here. Our legal system needs a rework but b4 any of that our mentality does...
To my male colleagues and friends who are utterly devoted to their wives and families ... no this does not mean you :)!
And yes ladies... I continue to remain "strong" as you percieve me... continue to remain in my truth & continue to believe in us building a better tomorrow.
After hearing several close friends wax eloquent about the site... I decided to inspect the same...albeit with a somewhat jaded (4 me ) approach..
Don't get me wrong , (as anyone who knows me will roll their eyes in agreement with ) I am open 2 explore different routes (despite all my escapades ,remain so) & non-judgemental, completely free of pre-conceived notions/ predjudices (2 the point of being accused of having perennial rose colored glasses on...)
Lets just say that in my experience the online medium has yet to achieve the level of evolvement it has in the west... over here sadly I have discovered (@my own and friends peril) that more often than not its scarcily more than a veiled attempt at fraud , deceit & fulfilling base agendas...
The matrimonial portals seem to have several still married men floating about, my male friends tell me that there was an equal number of women "soliciting" on there... some of the write ups read so hilariously that they are an eternal source of family amusement ( mine at least, we have spent several happy hours gleefully perusing "serious " proposals , clearly determining how homely, not stubborn and helpful the prospective bride should be)
Truth be known I was shocked at the level of hypocrisy and double standards that still prevailed in a so called " contemporary" society.. where several members were highly educated (mbas from top bschools here and abroad) treat the world as their playground, present themselves as global citizens & yet have such regressive thinking .... tsk... a random thought occurs... how about our media...? Our tv still insists on reflecting sari clad bahus as the archetype of the perfect woman... the rest of us simply dont exist...so what hope in hell do we have of progress? Then the whole country reacts in shock and horror 2 regular rape and dowry reports across the nation? Eyebrows are raised, protest marches happen... odes and paens, reams of media footage... of what avail... How can we expect the illiterate village bumpkin to change his perspective when the educated/ enlightened amongst us disrespect their wives and other women so flagrantly all under the guise of having a little "fun". We are all city folks right ?all high fliers? We " get" the rules of the game?
This to my mind is the crux of the matter... its a deeply regressive mentality we are sooo accustomed to its almost ingrained.
As a well meaning colleague once said.. women like you are in a minority... insinuation? You need to "fit in"...
So lets just say I explored Tinder with a fairly er un-enthused perspective... expectations (for a change )were @ ground zero...2 my (pleasant )surprise , the communication levels , attitude etc seemed far more transparant, there seemed to be quite a few like minded folks on there ...with the requisite humor, awareness , mindset etc..
Imagine my horror then when I came upon several of my friends husbands... hasty left swipe... I'm sure if confronted they will simply throw the "oh its a DATING site? we were just here to network" card... "I is here 2 make fraaandships only version er 1million". Can I just say I want to slap these men!
Again am the last one to judge... what goes on between a couple is their business but really this is flagrantly disrespectful to their wives & detrimental to society as a whole (no men cant be men anymore, if their tails are crooked.. chop em off) ... (and yep I'm 100% sure the wives don't know and wont be ok) that's what I object to... Somewhere these men believe they have society's approval to do as they please. They really don't care about the repercussions of a colleague or a family member witnessing their tacky behaviour.... These are the same men who will in seconds vilify a woman for being on there in the first place... she will be "asking for it" what else did she expect , desparate etc... Death 2 the double standard I say...(that's a whole other blog, heck maybe even a book ) .
Ladies ask your selves... is this what you want from your daughters? Gentlemen (@ least strive toward)? Non there's no magic wand... there ain't no quick fix... Nyet this cant be swept under the carpet and finally no moving abroad is not the solution , your mentality will go with you. Finally am not for a second suggesting that adultery and infidelity happens only in India... am only saying its tolerated & accepted far more here. Our legal system needs a rework but b4 any of that our mentality does...
To my male colleagues and friends who are utterly devoted to their wives and families ... no this does not mean you :)!
And yes ladies... I continue to remain "strong" as you percieve me... continue to remain in my truth & continue to believe in us building a better tomorrow.
