Betrayal wears many dresses.... how 2 lose friends & alienate people...

Little Ms. Sunshine... may have a teeny problem... her rose colored glasses appear 2 have slipped  &;; woe... so have many a mask...

For someone who has always only been able to see sunshine even through some pretty heavy clouds &;; rainbows even in typhoon weather...youd better believe this was a pretty harsh awakening. Ive always preferred 2 believe the best of people &; situations and hope I can continue to do so albeit with  a slightly more realistic perspective. Im not perfect... but then I dont judge... I dont expect perfection from my friends ( no thats only from my man :))  but I do expect  empathy @ the very least. And I do believe women need 2 build each other up not tear each other apart...
All I can say is I am done with  leaving encounters with "friends" with  a heavyness in my being... Betrayal wears many dresses.

Rest assured though..before you can say hidden agenda yours truly has boundaried up... but I thought it would be helpful... not 2 mention amusing... to highlight a few true blue "frenemy types" (remember award season shall shortly be upon us...)

How 2 spot em (hopefully a mile away) & avoid em like the plague...

Without further ado...

1) The "friend" who loved me : This one purports 2 adore you... shes always sooooooooo worried about you... on days when you are down and out... freaking out  in worst case scenario land... she pounces and proceeds to outline each unhappy ending with an " Im so worried about you ..." thrown in 4 good measure... note this friend is no where to be seen in any other capacity .. so you can forget about counting on her to actually god forbid HELP out in  your time of need... BIN.

2) The "friend" who judged me.. Oh there's quite a few of these floating about.. you know the type... eye rolls whilst you are mid sentence.. pointed close ended questions will be flung at u  before u can even complete sentence no. 3... no point trying to explain anything.. the gavel has long pounded in this all knowing souls eyes... they have been there done that &;; know the outcome .. in fact its quite likely she believes u are just making stuff up for " attention"!  So save ur breath and ur time...this type comes in several varieties... theres Ms. Married whos Mr you will fiind plays quite a significant role as juror... then theres Ms. Critical who gets to comment on how you look, dress, speak, eat, walk , talk... even work out...  I know one such who will not shut up about my hair, work out choices.... has she got it right you ask? er.......


3) The "friend" who confused u with the couch ... This one believes you exist solely 2 be her shrink... she will get totally outraged should you ever express a desire to talk about yourself... to be fair she has the attention span of a gnat...buy her an atlas and be done with it. Small note of caution though... do get far away from her... once it dawns that the world doesnt actually revolve around her there will be consequences...

4)  Even the club cant handle her now... Little Ms. I must be one up... not to be confused with the lady above... is solely about onewomanupship... many a time Ive been quite confounded to find my story hijacked and ...er "identified " with to the degree it is now about this (not so little) Madam...for eg me " such and such happened with this guy"...  she .."oh it happened 2 me 2 .." me... " oh such and such happened @ work.."  she.. " oh even I...." er... the temptation 2 claim I landed on Venus is high just 2 see how she matches that...

5) Dictator/ Diva... Her way or the high way... Good grief...I have lost my identity with this lady... Im simply required 2 don whatever hat she may require of the moment... driver, confidant, pupil... she decides & woe betide u express so much a peep much less an opinion... she will subject u 2 the rant of a lifetime...threaten u with small pox   n lord knows what...  www.tantrumsrus.com. Please note its not like she shines like a beacon of  sucess & achievement.... but somwhere appears 2 have rationalised reality to the degree that she truly believes she " knows whats best 4 u...." RUN.


6) The Typical types... Ill bet the Titanic was sunk by similar sets of flapping lips... u know the kind? u tell her something in confidence... thats the easiest way 2 ensure it reverbrates (twice) round the block. All intoned in hushed whispers mind... use sparingly should you need 2 communicate something in a widespread fashion & only if u r on a budget...

7) Little Ms. anti social media... she stalks but she wont walk her talk...  the one who has a dp  from the (early 90s).. actively follows everything I ( & everyone else ) says or does but purports not to have any time 2 waste on social media... er...

In conclusion I must be fair here and (re)  acknoweldge my own naivete ...in terms of recommended further course of action... I   can only quote from my flying days ... ( & here I thought there was scarce intellectual value add 2 be gleaned 4rm that era...)  we had particular terminology for garbage that needed instant removal... GASH!

Always you.

I can turn  away...
Dance off  many a stage..
Slam several doors..
Run from my cage


I can shift my focus...numb my pain
A drug of choice always at hand
2 help turn the page

I can smile like I mean it...
Act out in rage...
Play with toys , cast em off in disarray...

But really can anyone ever...
Take your place.

I can turn away..from the fire
Distract my mind... thru the day..
Deny my soul her deepest desire..
Valiant efforts... the price to pay
But what of the night & my dreams

Your face, our ways?
The darkness holds no restraint...
The memory of you remains..
My dreams hold no tomorrow...
Looks like you are here 2 stay.

I will keep sayin NO till i find my Yes.... a Quest... 4 my Personal Best...

Ive spent so long Reacting

There was scarce time 2 just be...

Time 2 discover me...(zero apologies)...

2 learn who I am, what I want & what I can give....

Choose the path I am meant 2 live..

2 find this first I needed 2 be free...

Clear out the clutter... make space 4 me..

So many attempts 2 live someone else's truth... 2 define me their way ...
I realise I gave my own aspirations the boot!
Another's held sway...

Ive spent so much time quivering in fear

Desparately scrambling to build ...

A life so scarcely fullfilled...

Tis only when I tripped (disgracefully) into my 4th decade..
We note a few changes begin 2 be made...

Ive slowed down some &; started 2 centre...

Focus shift 2   my  inner  mentor..

Once u step in2 divine flow...

Many truth's you will suddenly ,clearly, unequvocally just know...

Whether in Love, work or play...

All my relationships now enter the fray...

What matters, what fulfils &what drains...

When to nurture when to bail... & when 2 literally set sail...

Ive spent so long reacting...I 4got 2 remember..
The immense calm @ my inner centre...

When struggle desisted..fear  was banished...

All my pre conceived notions simply Vanished.

@ My core I simply knew... we are ALL connected... (2 each other &; 2 universal flow)
It is within 2 seek we must go...

Yep the magic really is YOU!

I realise that no one else's truth could (or should) define me..
Theres No one on earth I'd rather be...

Now I will keep saying NO till I find my Yes..
No longer obliged 2 agree or live an inauthentic existance...
Long done with the path of least resistance..
I remain committed 2 living my personal best...
From that integrity will come the rest.
No longer will I settle 4 what might be...with something (or someone) not quite right 4 me...
I shall recognise & know which battles 2 fight...which way 2 flow..
Welcome my flame & purpose ..
With love truth & light..
Ease & Effortlessness... Zero fight...
Rooted in my centre my sole address.
2mrws gonna be a brand new quest.

Tarot Truths...

Points 2 Remember with regards 2 any kind of esoteric reading....

a) A reader should radiate light , guidance & help (Re) illuminate your own ..(all of ours grow dim on occasion)

b) Absolutely no fear or control based shenanigans....turn firmly away 4rm negativity...if u walk out of a reading feeling anything less than awesome & connected with urself....u know....

c)  Tarot is a tool (amongst many) 2 help guide u with choices n consequences... but u drive ur own bus....sink ur own ship (sic)...& anyone who attempts 2 tell u otherwise is not operating 4rm their highest self... (in my not so humble opinion)....

d) Everything really is energy.. most times we create our own reality a good reader / medium/healer will remind u  & guide u  accordingly...

The Hunter Games...

.Has conversation with (male) buddy this morning... about how "Alpha males" prefer the chase....context... he didn't find a particular female very interesting as she appeared 2 keen...
My response... er what is an  "Alpha male " 2 day anyway? Women are expected 2 earn and deliver (sic)... so why (if they so choose) on earth should they hesitate to go after what they like?

This conversation is of course post a cultural  innundation and acclimatisation all the self styled experts (blabbing away on every medium)... women's magazines, how 2 tomes etc... re how one should allow a  man 2 chase.... & play hard 2 get... ergo... end result... confused sets of both genders scampering about ...what do men/ women really want? what did he/ she really mean... & further mayhem ensues...

Now personally speaking I am accustomed to being pursued but I have never and will never play games... to me it is disrespectful & a complete and utter waste of time... in fact I have been sniggered @ 4 being a complete flop @ the fine art of flirting... truth 1.. I've never needed notches 2 verify my"desirability" quotient...truth 2.. I don't agree with stringing someone along 4 the heck of it or being strung along... I'm pleased 2 note that (much of ) 2day's generation pays not the slightest heed to such nonsense...

www.opinionatedmuch.com

The Book of Netiquettes....

Can someone please write the book of NETIQUETTES.. (sic)...
so I can fling it @ all and sundry.... in the digital age... whats cool? whats not?
Are Watsapp messages a bonafide form of communication? (Id wholeheartedly endorse... anything that protects me from telephone talk .. see I has this funda... watsapp and IM allow multitaskin.... so many admirers so little time... #rofc... after all a gals attn has 2 be earned no?)

Though many disagree... who are these people... is there an age demographic? I adore connecting with folks on All social media... fb, twitter, linked in etc... however connecting is ALL.... If I can help I will but please desist with the over familiarity...(I had 2 have words with an affronted stranger recently who strode off my wall in a huff)...  dont please get me started on the proverbial and multi versioned... "I vants 2 make fraandships with u.". . albeit Im witnessing smoother, more sophisticated versions lately....

Takes da cake moment... a 21 year old girl sends me a friend request...I accept thinkin shes lookin for career gudiance...an internship or some such... she tells me that she has a friend who " likes me" but is scared to approach me... I ask how old said friend is? 23!!!! & finally 2 those of u are super critical of social media.. and  denounce fb / twitter as a "waste of time"... I wonder how you are still so aware of ALL my online shenanigans...? xo xo...

Positively the last straw.... Linked in connections writing in 2 tell me I'm cute/hot etc....

Merryweather musings...

I've seen monsoons in Manila , Typhoons in Taipei....
They aint got nothin on Mumbai......
Theres somethin bout this city & this season...
Romance with very little  reason...
Enjoy Marine Drive's breeze by all means...but beware those high seas...
Don't get so  caught up in the moment... u end up swept up by
the Ocean..
Here's 2 the Rainy season... . may u huddle under your umbrellas, skip over the slush..
May your focus shift from traffic woes....potholes & sodden soles...
2 everything  green & lush.
May you ... like me always see... the awesome beauty that abounds...
Amazing sights & sounds...
A city transformed from gray 2 green....
Chase a rainbow 2 the ground....
Raindrops glisten on  blooming trees..
How much hope do you need?

For you.

When our path's on this earth  no longer entwine...
I pray the connection remains...
Forever divine. <3 p="">When 2mrw a new dawn will break .. each of us our own road we must take....
No need 2 look back...No need 4 dismay...
Words superfluous...emotions  awry..
Just know that your light will always reflect mine...
Forever a flame.... It knows naught reason or rhyme...
Been this way 4rm the start...
The depth of the ocean... language of the heart.
Guess our souls knew b4....  life times ago...
Some threads never fray...Some bonds wont break...
Many tomorrows our Soul's flight will take

Amor Vincent Omnia... Halfway between the gutter and the stars...

I know , I know..

I'm talking love in the time of e hook ups... tsk...I've witnessed more unhappy marriages than any other kind,  experienced volatile relationships and really by now... should be at eye rolling stage...
I am also constantly being accused of wearing rose colored glasses..(give me that over cynical ANYDAY)/ I have also seen (admittedly fewer) rock solid relationships that have gone the distance... withstanding the gamut of potential hazards ranging from economic crises to kids to conflicting career schedules to the daily tedious trials and tribulations,

However there are times in life... when random circumstances , near strangers  can force you to stop and think... really question your beliefs...


 I walked into a store  today... and the lady  complimented my Latin inscriptions &; asked me what they meant... when I explained that one means "She flies with her own wings" , her eyes widened &; I could tell she totally connected with that... she said "As a single woman, today  I TOTALLY get that one and love it.."

Then ...

I explained the other inscription reads " Love conquers all things"... she looked thoughtful for a second and then said... "Does it"?

Mom at this point jumps in  (in full Doberman mode).. "Not if its going to hurt you it doesn't"... Once I'd distracted her...I thought about what the lady said...and responded... " To me Love in its purest form ... does".
She said" I believe that sometimes as much as you love someone, as much as you give them love, keep giving them love no matter how they treat you....it still doesn't work"...

I said some (hopefully) empathetic &  reassuring things ...  and left her store...but our conversation is still ringing in my brain... Having Lived and Loved wholeheartedly... ( & knowing full well I will again :)!) I have this to say... Love and relationships are not always synonymous... though ideally of course we'd all love them to be....

 You may not choose to remain in a relationship which consistently fails to meet your needs.. but that does not prevent you from loving the person. I believe, love if it exists at the start , never really goes away...it may assume a different hue, a different context but it wont go away...

Do you love someone because they can fulfill your expectations?  Was it you who misjudged their ability to do so  in the first place? If they have lied, cheated whatever... I maintain that , that is a reflection of their character more than anything else...& I do believe they will pay the price for it. ie losing you...

Ask yourself  your true reasons for getting into the relationship... &; staying in it.

I do believe in love a very pure almost idealistic version..... do I think I will be able to practise it in reality myself much less expect it from another? I'm not certain....

What do you believe?

Respectfully irrelevant...Corporate Capers...Why you need 2 read this & maybe rethink your HR strategy...

So lets just put it out there that your's truly isn't the most reverential sort @ work...
I am respectful always but expect to see that reciprocated company wide...
Alas I have a sense of humor & refuse to take myself to seriously... thankfully today's wave is in sync.
And I draw the line @ schmoozing 2 climb the corporate ladder...
Alas imagine my dismay (& distaste) when it dawned that this is actually deeply ingrained in many org. cultures.
Imagine my further woe when I discovered that healthy confrontation is frowned upon... most are encouraged to spend hours dissing colleagues or planting a knife in your back while smiling sweetly to your face... I've seen a lot of senior Hr folks actively encourage this and  attempt to sneakily ferret out information @ the behest of  management.
News flash guys... if you have sufficient EQ levels and are suitably connected this sort of approach will be unnecessary.
Its not about performance  at all its simply becomes a game of one upmanship at all costs. Ethics and morals be damned...tell me how healthy can this sort of thing be for your business ?

Don't get me wrong I'm not dissing a competitive environment... but nurturing a healthy one with  a clear set of ethics is imperative. Its about equilibrium , true transparency ( never at the cost of breaching confidentiality) ,trust , creating & maintaining an engaged workforce.. where at least a majority perceive themselves as stakeholders...

I know many out there will peg me an idealist.... ( er without dreams where are we?) but I truly believe that this fosters a culture of mistrust...and separation. You are automatically isolating employees & encouraging them to think solely about themselves, (encouraging defensiveness &  unethical practise) and their own moments in the spotlight, career trajectory etc.. how many  go beyond themselves & are truly invested in your business ?
Your corporate values may claim transparency but how many of your employees regard themselves as stakeholders/ embody your brand?

Here's a heads up/ news flash... It ain't gonna work no more...
There's a whole new generation out there.... who are as irreverent as er me... but if you engage them right... you'll get the best out of them.
Worse ...(depending on how you look @ it) they have an entirely entrepreneurial mindset and a very conducive environment to go down precisely that path...
If you don't  engage them you are going to lose them , STAT.
At the risk of oversimplification.. people need to know you care, they need to feel valued & recognised & respected.  When they truly believe @ their core that what they do makes a difference... that the company cares about their welfare...they become invested and that automatically enhances productivity... You can take that to the CRM, Mis bank and  measure till the cows come home.

Today more than ever before... young people are astute, exposed to a wide gamut of information / education and hence are all too aware of their options ..the onus then is on the Leadership Team to ensure engagement ALL of the time. For many that will mean flipping everything you know & have adhered to in your own leap up the ladder (and are clinging on to for dear life)  on its head... & making employees your focus...& priority. ( Yes i just said that). What drives them, what will keep them... ensuring they remain engaged, invested and therefore focused...
PS- You are going to need a lot of energy :)!

Small fine print  : I seldom rant & rave (on HR / Leadership issues) but care enough 2 step out on a limb this time... just my humble view ( please forgive irreverence & plain speaking).

Moment of Truth...

If u allow it ,
life will show u half its beauty... along the way many get weary..
lost, derailed .. even teary..
2 caught up in the line of duty.
Most I've met are afraid to believe.. too scared to see...even feel..
.just how abundant our existence can be...
I may have drawn the Fool in the deck...
Leaped off cliffs... no safety net...
But who's to define my life's story...
When that wheel turns...
Quiet courage or Faded glory?
The best laid plans oft go awry......
I can laugh but I will try...
Craters abound near rainbow's end...
Tis only my soul's truth...on which I depend.

2 mine own self(ie) (sic)....

I suppose I could manipulate my way thru...
Reveal only what I choose to ...
Could easily play damsel in distress..
Wring my hands gently... 
Wraught overall in helplessness..
Am pretty certain tis the easier path..
Alas tis 2 late in the day 4 me 2 start!
Whats imbibed @ the knee...is unconciously played out repeatedly.
Lifetimes ..refined... One's current destiny...
What of my core rooted in honesty...
What of my love 4 you.. sacred in it's transparancy..
Integrity , strength, courage heartfelt...
None can be smite by stealth...
I suppose I could scheme my way through..
But really that would be such a pointless thing 2 do!

2mrw

 I don't want 2 be judged by the clothes I wear, ...
 Or even the color of my hair...
 It ought not 2 matter where I stay...
What I do with my day
 Or even where I pray.... 
What is of Consequence is my character & fulfillment of duty. 
Who gets to define that ? choose wisely & absolutely!
Let our leaders #Hear &; #Obey .. 
May our work speak truly ..reflect our soul & nation's beauty. 
Reward should be solely defined by deed & merit ....
what We sow We ought 2 reap... 
Surely there's enough 4 all 2 eat ? 
My words may ring idealistically 
But on what pray was our nation built , if not collective unity?